"Mistakes are the portals of discoveries." - James Joyce

Life has a way of teaching us things we didn’t ask to learn. Sometimes, the lessons are good.
Other times, they are disappointing and frustrating, and that’s where this one begins.

At some point or another, many of us have crossed paths with people who only enter our lives for what they can gain. They come in the way of friendship; warm smiles, flattering words, and all the familiar hallmarks of genuine connection. But behind all of it, their intentions are self-serving.

They show up when it's convenient, and disappear when it’s not. Painful as it is, people come into your life for what they can take, not what they can give. And when the benefits run out, so do they. Sometimes without a word.

It’s easy and natural to feel awful when this happens. Pain isn't usually the only feeling that comes with this: Used. Misled. Even foolish. But here’s the thing: these moments, while painful, are often the ones that bolster us. They help us see more clearly the kind of relationships we want, and more importantly, the kind we deserve.

It's not exactly easy to see people for who they are, so it is likely that we end up in several parasitic relationships. But it’s not weakness to trust, or naive to give people the benefit of the doubt.

But with every experience, we grow a little wiser in how we read the room, and how we pay attention to actions, not just words.

There’s a world of difference between someone who claps for you when you're winning, and someone who sits with you when you're not. The disparity between those who lean in when things are easy, and those who stay when life gets hard, is worlds apart.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. And when someone shows you love that expects nothing in return, cherish them. I have come to the realization that second chances and benefit of the doubt are wasted on people who show you exactly who they are. Save it for those who deserve it.

I have learned that it becomes particularly important to surround ourselves with people who show genuine concern for our well-being, and offer unconditional support through the highs and lows. Authentic friendships are nurtured on the pillars of trust, mutual respect, and a shared dedication to each other's joy and triumphs, and everything in-between.

The number of people in your life is insignificant. It’s the quality of the ones who remain when everything else falls away that is.

Real friends show up in simple ways; checking in when no one else does, listening without judgment, holding space for you to grow even when it’s messy. Their presence is consistent, and their devotion is not conditional.

If you’ve ever felt the sting of losing someone you thought was real, you’re not alone. But you haven’t lost, either. You’ve learned.

It is one of many lessons you will learn on this journey called life.

The older I get, the more I realise not every loss is a bad thing. Some people will walk out of your life, and that’s a gift. It clears space for those who are meant to stay.

Learn to let go when you know, and recognize that things aren't meant to be. When I say let go, it doesn’t always mean you should cut ties with bitterness. Sometimes, it simply means accepting what was, appreciating the lesson, and moving forward with clearer perception.

You can forgive, grow, and still walk away.

This is where I leave you: The real lesson I have learned is this. Every disappointment shapes us. Every fake friend makes us more attentive to what real friendship should feel like. And every heartbreak teaches us how deeply we value sincerity.

So, the next time life reveals someone’s true colours, let it be a friendly reminder that you are worthy of love that is consistent, not convenient. And you deserve friendships grounded in genuine concern and appreciation, not manipulation.

And the lesson, though hard-earned, is well learnt.