At some point, most of us drafted a version of how we thought life would be. We imagined where we’d be, what we would have done, and who we’d become. We may have pictured the job, the relationship, the home, or just a feeling of certainty that looked out of reach then, but inevitable. All part of that invisible deadline.
And yet, here you are, living a life that may not match what you once imagined. You might wonder if you fell behind or missed a step, or if you're running out of time.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone, and importantly, you’re not behind.
The Invisible Deadline
From a young age, we were taught to follow a specific path: finish school, build a career, get married, buy a house, and raise a family, all by an invisible deadline we never agreed to but still believed in.
Life doesn’t always go as planned. It doesn’t follow set timelines or our original scripts. It changes direction, takes unexpected turns, and usually takes longer than we expect.
And while that can be disappointing or even painful, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You’re human, and it is our nature to adapt, evolve, and still find a way.
Letting go of your original timeline (or the invisible deadline) doesn't mean you are giving up on your dreams. Don't think of it that way. If we're to look at it from a 'glass half full' perspective, it could mean allowing them to develop in new ways and at a different pace than you expected. Aren't expectations meant to be exceeded?
Sometimes, the success you wanted before doesn't match who you are now. Growth often means moving past old ideas of success and finding new ones that align with your new values and reality.
I grew up hearing, 'Delay is not denial,' so I believe that waiting doesn't mean failure. Some things take time, and if you really want something, you'll be patient. Understand that uncertainty doesn't mean you’re not making progress. It is a part of life.
You’re Still Becoming
Even if your progress is slow or unnoticeable, it still counts. The work you're doing, whether it's emotionally, mentally, or physically, is shaping who you are becoming.
The kindness you share, the healing you pursue, the patience you learn, and the persistence you cultivate are all important parts of your journey. They might not be on a checklist or a résumé, but they represent growth and are equally valuable.
Every person you admire has encountered delays and doubts. What makes their story remarkable isn’t their speed in reaching goals, but that they persevered and grew throughout the journey.
I have always loved Martin Luther King Jr.'s quote: "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward." Keep persevering through challenges, no matter the pace.
Trusting Your Own Pace
There is no universal deadline for building a meaningful life. There isn't a perfect time when everything falls into place. Life moves in seasons, and each one teaches us lessons that are worthwhile, even the difficult ones.
Instead of comparing your life to others, focus on where you are now. Acknowledge what you’ve been through. Embrace your journey, celebrate your perseverance, and allow yourself the strength to take your next step. I wrote a post about Live Your Life: Stop Comparing Yourself. You should check that out, if you haven't already.
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU: You don't need to rush to prove yourself. You're not short on time. You're exactly where you need to be in your life.
So if the life you’re living looks different from the one you planned, know that it’s still a life worth living. You are becoming, in your own time, and in your own way. And the you that is here now is more than enough
And while you’re at it, might I suggest wandering over to my podcast, TIMV where I talk about these exact topics through candid conversations meant to help you quiet the pressure and validate your journey.
Find TIMV (This Is My Voice) wherever you listen to podcasts and keep the conversation going.