I have never understood parents particular instinct and need to coddle and hide their children from the world. A part of me believed that as the creator of something so fragile and precious, there comes this need to protect them from the wickedness and vile of the outside world.
The adverse effect of the helicopter parent is far more damning than anything else! I haven't had the chance to read Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff's 'The Coddling of The American Mind' yet, but I caught an interview with Haidt and this book is now on my 'to-read'.
Why did I bring that up? Well Haidt spoke of the immune system of a newborn babe. For their immune system to actually develop and toughen, you need to expose them to the germs and bacteria so their system learns, adapt and fights. Coddling a newborn babe is very bad for their immune system, it ends up not learning to fight.
It's the same way with children. By coddling and keeping your children locked in, in an attempt to keep them from all the evils that could hurt them, you make them far more susceptible to them-especially when they have to leave the nest and face the world all on their own. They will know nothing and they will be easy targets. Is that really what we want?
Parents have this misguided idea, years after keeping their children under lock and key and maximum security, that once they go out there they will blossom. They'd make friends, waddle through life unscathed with all the life advise they've provided, they forget that experience teaches best. One cannot learn to swim without diving into the pool or the ocean. Let them out into the wild, be there to support, encourage and guide them but let them out.
The world's a terrible place, and they need to see it, know it and then learn how to fight their own battles without necessarily crumbling everything it pushes them down. The adverse effect of a helicopter parent leads to mind crumbling realizations that life is fucked up, and this generation cannot handle it.
With time, in time, the world will only evolve further into superficiality and much like their immune system, they need to learn early that things are hard, especially for adults.
Sure the intention is mostly good, but the negative repercussions associated with it is greater than whatever good intended.
Parents, new and old should learn to loosen the strings and let their children dip their feet into the wild one step at a time. Test it out, come tell me what you experienced and let's discuss. That's what I believe, and usually mothers get so defensive when this is brought up, spewing words like 'don't tell me how to raise my kid' or 'what do you know? You're not a mum' and it baffles me because, no I am not a mum, but I was once a kid, so were you.
I know what the aftermath of having helicopter and overprotective parents looks and feels like and, experience is the best teacher. Your kids will resent you in the future when they cannot hold a conversation with their peers because they don't know how. They will resent you for so many things they should have learnt and known but weren't privy to because of you. Take it or leave it, it's your call but listen at least.