I recently received some challenging feedback on three of my fiction works from two different platforms. While it was disheartening to read, I reminded myself of the numerous positive reviews my works have received. I often ponder why individuals feel compelled to review a book they didn't enjoy. My philosophy is that if a book doesn't resonate with me, it's best to set it aside and explore other options that align with my tastes. I believe that not every book is meant for every reader, and that's perfectly okay. It's essential to focus on the readers who appreciate and connect with my writing rather than those who don't.

It is important to refrain from leaving disparaging comments simply because a piece of writing does not align with one's personal style or elicits uncomfortable emotions. Critiquing a book in a backhanded manner, especially when an author has put their heart into it, is truly disrespectful. Readers should make an effort to offer more constructive feedback. Writing a book and seeing it through to completion is far from effortless, and those who criticize should bear this in mind.

Every writer, no matter how skilled or celebrated, faces negative feedback at some point in their career. Whether it's a not-so-glowing review or a critical comment, dealing with negative feedback is an integral part of a writer’s journey. While it's impossible to please every reader, how you respond to and handle this feedback can significantly impact your growth and resilience as a writer.

The goal of this post is not just to survive the sting of criticism, but to use it constructively, transforming potentially discouraging experiences into opportunities for professional development and personal growth.

Understanding the Nature of Feedback

A good guiding principle is realizing that you are not obligated to address every piece of feedback. It's important to identify what is pertinent to you, your work, and your development. I frequently disregard feedback that lacks constructive criticism. Drawing from my experience as a moderator of a writing community with an emphasis on constructive feedback, I believe that if feedback doesn't inspire you to improve your story, it holds no relevance.

Feedback, whether positive or negative, is subjective. It reflects not just the work itself but also the reader's expectations, experiences, and even mood at the time of reading. Recognizing this can help you differentiate between feedback that is useful and criticism that may not be worth your attention.

Constructive Criticism vs. Unhelpful Negativity

Constructive criticism is aimed at improvement. It’s specific, actionable, and offered in a way that respects your effort and potential. For instance, a critique pointing out pacing issues in a story or suggesting more depth in character development offers you a clear path to refine your work.

On the other hand, unhelpful negativity often lacks specificity and can be dismissive. Comments like "This is terrible" or "I don't think it was that good" without further explanation do not provide any insights or ways to improve and may stem from personal bias rather than objective assessment.

Psychological Impact

Receiving negative feedback can trigger a variety of emotions—from denial and anger to sadness and doubt. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than suppress them. But dwelling on them too long can hinder your ability to move forward positively.

Starting out as a writer, my first negative feedback really made me question my ability as a writer. It's incredibly tough, but over time, I've learned that openly discussing how it affected me and recognizing those emotions has been crucial in moving forward. If you don't have anyone to confide in, jot it all down. Sometimes speaking your emotions out loud to yourself can be surprisingly effective. Additionally, seek out a writing community where you can connect with fellow writers and build a strong support system.

Strategies for Handling Negative Feedback

Pause and Process

Before reacting, take a moment—or several—to absorb the feedback. Allow yourself time to process the emotions and resist the urge to respond defensively. This pause can help you approach the critique with a clearer, more objective perspective.

Seek Clarity

If feedback is vague but seems potentially useful, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification. Engaging constructively with your critics can turn a generic negative comment into a conversation that fosters learning and growth.

Filter and Focus

Learn to filter feedback. Identify comments that provide concrete suggestions or highlight consistent issues others have also pointed out. Focus on these as areas for improvement, and try to ignore comments that are purely subjective or unconstructive.

Professional Growth

Embrace the learning opportunity that constructive criticism provides. Use it to hone your skills, address blind spots in your writing, and enhance your future projects. Remember, every piece of feedback can contribute to your development as a writer, provided it's approached with the right mindset.

Building Resilience

Developing a thick skin is part of being a writer. Not every piece of feedback will be easy to accept, but building resilience can help you withstand criticism without losing confidence in your abilities.

Maintain Self-Confidence

Remind yourself of your achievements and the positive reviews you’ve received. Keep a file of positive feedback and revisit it when you need a boost.

Support Network

Cultivate a supportive network of fellow writers, mentors, and trusted readers who understand your work and can offer both encouragement and constructive critique. This community can be invaluable in helping you view feedback in perspective.

Maintaining Perspective

It's essential to remember that no writer has ever achieved success without facing criticism. Criticism is a sign that your work is being read and discussed, which in itself is a measure of success.

Focus on Passion

Keep your focus on why you write. Your passion for storytelling or sharing insights should ultimately be the driving force, not the fear of criticism.

This Is Where I Leave You: Handling negative feedback effectively is a skill that benefits from practice. Each critique offers a chance to learn and improve. When you approach feedback with an open mind and a strategy for using it constructively, you will not only improve your writing skills, but also your resilience and confidence as a writer.